He is preparing

I went home early on Wednesday because I was exhausted from our recent and on going situation.  Damon did have an appointment at Snell to fit his loaner prosthetic.  It was amazing!! It was the first time I saw my fantastic husband walk on 2 legs since August 11, 2014!!! I wouldn't have missed it for the world!! He is such an inspiration to me. He makes me want to work harder on the things I need to work on, to be a better person and to not take one single day for granted.  Thanks you Damon, for loving me and inspiring me. You mean the world to me and I will always be by your side to help you, cry with you, hug you, hold your hand and provide you with the kind of life you have always provided for me. I love you. Keep up the fantastic work! YOU ROCK!!

No need for thanks.

NO NEED FOR THANKS!!Although I know that you feel like you should say something.  You have always taken such phenomenal care of me. I love you more than words can say and I look forward to being you for many many MANY years to come. I love you, my husband.

Status update

The last 5 days were rough.  I lost 11 pounds since Wednesday!  Quick math tells me I burned 6,600 calories more per day than consumed.  This is easy to believe because I have barely eaten and my body is on overdrive.
Yhey removed the chemo pump on Friday and tonight is my first normal sized meal with the assistance of some SaddleBock libations.
Thank you, Terah and Patrick, for watching Loki.  Thank you, Dad, for taking me to WalMart.  Thank you, April, for everything else.

Starting my new chemo therapy

The sage Don Henley sang "Kick 'em when they're up, Kick 'em when they're down, Kick 'em when they're up, Kick 'em when they're down, Kick 'em when they're up, Kick 'em when they're down, Kick 'em when they're up, Kick 'em all around"

Last Saturday was a beautiful day.  Dad and I added decking to the platform which holds our hot tub.  Now I can safely maneuver myself as I get in and out.  I also filled the tub and turned it on, since I emptied it before my surgeries.  It was warm by mid Sunday and I climbed in Sunday night.  I can not describe the relief the hot tub gives me.  A hot bath has been one of the few consistent pain and stress relievers at my disposal.  Thank you, everyone, who made this possible.

Sunday was an inside day for me.  I spent Sunday on the couch or in my chair, except for the short time in the tub which was just before bed. Monday was a good. I worked and ate lunch with my friends. Tuesday was was nice, but I did get 'pick' line installed. The 'pick' line is a fancy semi-permanent IV which is inserted in to my upper arm. It enters the main vein there and then travels to within about 2 inches of my heart. This is for my chemo, which I am doing as I type this. This bring me to today.

I am sitting in a recliner at Highland Oncology and receiving my latest cocktail of chemo therapy drugs. These are supposed to be better than the last round, which was before my surgeries. This cocktail is based on the pathology from the tumor they removed from my leg. Hopefully this chemo treatment and the next will eradicate any stray cancer cells lurking in my body. Dr Travis referred to it as a 'leap of faith.' I am leaping.

My overall state is tired. I slept an extra hour on Tuesday and still barely gathered the energy to go to work. I am glad I did because my friends energize and inspire me. They are great people. Today (Wednesday) I woke up tired and went back to bed. I woke up again and could not get moving so I emailed work and then stayed home. It was too hard to do anything. I suspect my mood and energy level are affected by the Gabapenton, which is the medicine I take for the pain in my phantom leg. It mostly helps that but has side affects which can ruin my day. It may be tiredness or irrational emotions or fatigue or all of these. darn.

About the Gabapenton. We ask the nurse and she spoke to the doctor about it's side affects. They offered to switch me to Lyrica. I call CVS and they said it's basically $1 per pill, which is a lot more than the Gabapenton. If the side affects disappear then it's worth it. I must slowly come off the Gabapenton before I can start the Lyrica, which makes first dose Sunday or Monday. We'll see what happens.

That's all for now. I continue to appreciate everyone's support. I am surrounded my very special people. I cannot describe how much everyone means to me. My current team. My previous team. My teams from years ago. I can feel your thoughts and prayers lifting me every day.

Chemotherapy round 2

Well, here we are again at Highlands Oncology.  They found out that the tumor was not muscle related, but bone related.  Meaning that Damon has a bone cancer. They do consider him cancer free right now and they are hoping that the new regiment drugs will kill any cancer cells that he may have. He has a great nurse that is doing a fantastic job taking care of him.  

He ended up being very emotional again this morning.  Last night he could not rest so when got up he just decided to lie down on the couch and then stayed there until it was time to get ready for chemo.  While he was get ready for the shower, our dogs started to fight. Tunney, the Corgi, and Frodo, the Jack Russel, ganged up on Loki, the half Pom half Chihuahua.  It took me a few minutes to break it and then I kicked the big ones of the room.  I was checking on Loki to make sure they had not done damage, when Damon came out of the bathroom and was crying, wanted to make sure that Loki was ok.  Loki is just fine. His fur was a little wet but no injuries.  Thank God!!! I am not sure how Damon would have taken not. He said he is purposely not going in the living room, where the other dogs are, because he did not want to hurt a dog.  

I have to say that I have no idea how to handle his emotional times.  I have been with him since I was 13 and he was 14. We have been through a lot together and are still as much in love as we have ever been.  But when he has a break down, To be honest, I am scared.  Imagine the one person in your life who has always been the rock of the family, the one that got things done, could handle anything and always did it well is suddenly the now who needs your help the most. I love this man more than words can say. He has been the "constant" in my life.  I worry that I will not to be able to take care of him as well as he has taken care of me and his family.  To fail in being there for him or not be able to make him feel better or get the things that he needs, etc., would be the worst thing. I have no words for it.  

To everyone who has been there for him and us, I thank you more than could ever know!!!! Damon will be posting an addition to his blog soon as well.

Life is a roller coaster

I have had a roller coaster 3 days. It started when Dr Montgomery raised the dosage of my medication.  I took the first larger dosage on Tuesday afternoon and then again on Tuesday night. I woke up Wednesday morning, went to work and everything went well but I was tired.  I took another dose at lunch and became extremely tired. By the time I left work I had a hard time thinking.  During the drive home I saw a car accident (I was not involved) and I became a little emotional about it but not too bad. When I got home and began talking to April I became very emotional.  Just as I did last week when the medication took control. I sobbed for several hours and April comforted me.  I have a love/hate relationship with that medicine.  I need it so my phantom leg is tolerable, but I am sensitive to dosage changes.  April spoke to the doctor on-call and we devised a new dose.  As of Thursday morning I am me again...again.
Thursday was a very good day.  Wednesday and Thursday were spent in a class at the corporate campus.  While there I visited with some dear friends.  I even learned a few things in the class.   My good Thursday started when Dale, another person in the class, said he had extra tickets to the Jake Owens concert which is Thursday night!  I snatched them from Dale and I told April the good news.  Now that I have plans I must get forearm crutches.  The wheelchair will be too difficult to maneuver in the AMP arena.
My adventure to find crutches start at Snell's, the prosthetics place.  They do not have crutches.  I call Colliers by the hospital and they do not.  I call Colliers on Dickson.  They have one pair, so off I go.  I find their crutches and go to the counter.  The young lady tells me they can nit process crutches on a prescription, which I have.  They cost almost $70 each so I skip them.  The young lady suggests a medical supply place on Market St.  I call them and they do have crutches so I'm off again.  I'm almost there when they call me and say 'sorry, they're actually out.'  Darn.  While we're still on the phone a person in the background finds their last pair.  I finish my journey and get the crutches.  Whoopee!
The concert included The Cadillac 3, The Eli Young Band, and then Jake Owens.  Music started at 7, Jake started a little after 9, and it lasted until after 11.  April and I left about 10:30 so I could get out more easily.  We had a great time and we saw other people I knew.  The opposite of the night before.
Forearm crutches are more difficult then I thought they would be.  It requires shoulder and back muscles which I have not used in a while.  I'll get used to it, but it may take a while.
Friday I use the wheelchair at work because I am too tired after the late Thursday night.  Work goes well and I leave about 2:30 because my phantom leg becomes very twitchy.  Imagine if your leg began cramping in random muscles from your toes to your thigh.  it like that but there is no leg and you can't do anything about it.  It's extremely uncomfortable to say the least.
Now I am home with April.  She does not feel well, so I'll be caring for her a bit.  This will be a challenge on one leg, but I'll my best.  She's been caring for me.

Good news at the doctor's

It was all good news from Dr Montgomery and Dr Steliga.  All my incisions are healing well, my x-rays are clear, and I can get in the hot tub.  I thought I was getting a CT scan today, but it was a chest x-Ray for Dr Steliga.  I have another follow up with them in January.  Otherwise, no more Little Rock for a while.  I still have chemo in Fayetteville, but no long drives.

Another day, another trip to Little Rock.

Another day, another trip to Little Rock.  This is a follow up to the two recent surgeries.   At 1:45p I get a fresh CT scan and then at 2:30p is the appointment with Dr Montgomery and Dr Steliga.  Tuesday is not a normal office day for Dr Steliga, but he's coming in for me.  Aren't I special.

So far today has been rough.  Neither April or I slept well last night and I am sore from head to toe.  April is still sore from her fall on Saturday.   This will be a long car ride.

I don't remember mentioning Aprils fall.  She was walking the dogs on Saturday.  The ground was slick from the rain and she stepped in some poo.  Her foot slid away from her and her other leg crumpled and she hit the ground.  She heard a 'pop' from her leg as her knee folded and her heel hit her butt.   Now her knee and big toe are sore.  She's dealing with it, but I know it hurts.  My girl April can be a tough one.

We've passed the Arkanchunnel and I plan to eat lunch in Conway at David's Burgers.  I was told it's good.

More later about David's and the appointments.

Walk-through at the Chapel

Terah, Patrick and I went to St Catherine's at Bell Gable on Sunday.  We walked through the ceremony and talked with the people there.  When I 'walk' Terah down the isle I need to walk, roll, or hop about 100 feet.  This is long ways when you're hopping.  Terah and I did it as practice and I had to stop twice to rest.  At the end I was sweating hard and I had to set down.  I need to practice this in case no leg is ready.  We also looked at the barn where the reception is held.  There are steps to enter the barn, but these are not a problem.  The coordinator said they have a ramp if necessary.  After St Catherine's we ate lunch at The Market Place and then went grocery shopping.
I was exhausted after all that.  I try to not completed exhaust myself, but the wedding is worth it.  I got home about 5:30pm and was lazy the rest of the night.  April and I lounged on the couch, ate left-overs and then went to bed.
Other than Tuesday, which is another trip to Little Rock, I plan to work a full 8 hours every day this week.

Last day for the MealTrain

I now have the first piece of my prosthetic leg.  It's a gray, translucent, rubber boot which covers my stump.  The boot has a threaded port at the bottom for attaching to my new leg.  I wear it while I'm awake and take it off at night so my leg can breathe.  It's less comfortable than the cloth shrinker but I'll get used to it. 
I've declared today a day of rest.  I've spent nearly the whole day on the couch.  I woke up this morning with a very sore right arm and hand.  I must have slept on it all night.  This makes using the walker more difficult, but it's still very doable.
I scared April this morning.  I was laying on the couch when she got up.  I propped myself up on one elbow to talk.  As I leaned my heart began racing.  I could feel it beating hard in my chest and I became a little short of breath.  I set up and said 'I don't want to scare you but I don't feel well.'  I describe the situation and she wants to call 911.  It begins to ease and she calls my dad instead.  10 minutes later I am fine.  If it happens again then I'll probably say OK to getting checked.  I'm passed my out-of-pocket for insurence so I should get everything check which I can.
Tomorrow we meet Terah at Saint Catherine's so we can walk through the ceremony.  I need to see the path I'm walking so I can prepare.  Everything points to me having a leg by then.  I'll start working on plan-B just in case.
Today was our last stop on the meal-train.  Last night Gary Ruisinger brought Jim's Razorback Pizza and tonight Daniel and Deborah Summers brought Olive Garden.  Both were delicious and appreciated.

Getting back on the chemo train

We met with Dr Travis yesterday and I now have my schedule for the next few months.  I start a new round of chemo on September 17th.  This chemo is delivered over 3 days via a small pump which I keep with me.  This chemical is harder on my veins and heart muscle, but it's easier on my body as a whole.  Perhaps some nausea, but that's all.  I repeat the process on October 8th and maybe a third time in November.  Hopefully that gets everything.  We ask Dr Travis about the certainty of this treatment and he referred to it as a 'leap of faith'.  He also said that without the treatment that the cancer would return, so we go with the treatment.  Today I get an echocardiogram to check my heart for defects.  This is preventative because the treatments affect on my heart.  Next week I go to the Walker Heart Institute to install a 'pick' line for the medicine delivery.
On a happier note I am really looking forward to camping this fall.  I missed the chance to go last spring and summer.  I enjoy setting around the camp fire with friends and family.  All I do is stare at the fire and gather wood for more fire.  It is very restful.  I have a few friends lined up to go with me.  Time can't pass fast enough. 
The pain-of-the-day is muscle spasms.  My stump changes daily.  As muscles and nerves heal in my stump the combination of signals to my brain changes.  The signals are interpreted as if I have a leg, which I don't, so they feel like something different every day.  Today it's muscle spasms.  It starts whenever I'm seated for any length of time and lasts until they're done.  Yesterday's pain was cramping.
Lastly I want to thank everyone who has brought food for the meal train.  April and I appreciate it and I enjoy seeing the smiling faces.  We live away from town and finding our home can be an adventure.  I Thank you, Anastasia, Mitchell, Bonnie, and Bobbi and Ben.

First day back to work

Today was my first day back to work since my leg amputation.  It went splendidly.  I deleted about 2000 email and soon I'll be back up to speed.  I'm very excited.  Everyone I spoke with was supportive and glad to see me.  I work with great people.
Today was also my first full appointment with Snell Prosthetics.  We spoke for about an hour about types and time lines.  My goal is to walk before October 4th fof Terah's wedding.  I am very encouraged after the conversation at Snell.  As a backup plan I also bought the material for casting my leg in case I must build my own prosthetic.  We may build one anyway because how cool is that.
The biggest downer of the day is the phantom pain in my right foot.  Periodically I feel an electric shock on the bottom of my missing foot.  April gasp the first time I nearly collapsed in the floor from the pain. After the 4th or 5th time she chuckled a little.  I don't blame her.  I know it looks quite comedic and I must laugh a little too in between the convulsions.  Seriously, it feels like something the Vietnamese did to Rambo in an 80s movie.
I return to work again tomorrow.  I plan to work half days this week so I do not overtax my body.  I am super happy about working again, but I recognize I am not super human.  At least not until I get my bionic leg.

Goal #1 done

My first goal is done!  I am back at work this morning.  I plan to work half days this week so I don't push it too hard.  It feals good to be here.

My first fall since the surgery

My first fall finally happened.  April, Terah, and I went to the movies.  We watched the ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ which was entertaining but not great.   The 4:40 matinee was mostly empty so I decided I wanted to watch from one of the upper rows.  I park the wheel chair and we begin up the stairs.  Hop.  Hop.  Hop.  I reach the third row with no problem.  Next, I reach over and grab the armrest with my right hand the top of the row 2 seat with my left.  Hop – swish, my foot slides as soon as it hits the hard, non-carpeted floor.  Terah said I went down as straight as board.  I held my grip on the arm rest and row 2 seat as my foot rushed away from me and my body went down.   My butt hits the floor, followed by my left elbow and then by head.  Thankfully I go down as controlled as possible and it’s a relatively soft landing.  The only damage is a sore left elbow.  Lesson learned.  Theater floors are often wet.

The rest of the day was a good one.  April and I lounged around and did a lot of nothing.  It was very restful.