ANOTHER Update.

Damon went in this morning had his pump for his chemo removed;he was retaining quite a bit of water so they gave him some Lasix through his pick line which is really made him feel a lot better in that matter.  And we did have tickets to go to the Razorback game tonight from a good friend, Michael C. at Damon's work, but Damon was just too tired; he's exhausted.  He's looking at me now because I said his name and woke him up. So we're going to have a nice easy evening on the couch watching sci-fi as usual; Doctor Who, some Underworld thrown in there & who knows what else and then bedtime!  I hope you have a great weekend !  God bless! Don't worry the tickets are going to good use!!!

Well,,,,,,

Damon went to his treatment today started the second day of the iPhone some treatment they found his pulse was elevated probably due to the dexamethasone that they're giving him both in the chemotherapy and at home so they told him to stop taking it at home he's pretty tired and we're both taking it day by day. As of right now I plan on going back to work Monday and taking a life day by day. I saw where Damon posted his spiritual feelings & of his belief that he is on the path that God has intended for him. My problem is I want God to leave him here. I am not prepared for God to take him away from us. He is a fantastic husband and a fantastic father & more importantly he is my best friend. I'm not prepared to live my life without him. I don't think that any of us are but we will all work at doing so because that is what Damon will want us to do. For now, I know Damon will go to work when he can and do everything he can to fight and live as long as possible; all I can do is pray that God listens to all of our prayers and leave him with us for a lot longer. He is a wonderful man and I love him dearly.  I can't say that enough. 

Great friend and family and busyness

April’s sister and step-mom are here for a short visit.  Not related to my ER visit, they drove to NW Arkansas from Houston on Saturday night with a stop in Van Buren.  They arrived about noon and we visited until 8:00.  Terah and Patrick also came to see them.  Tuna fish sandwiches for dinner, shared stories and it was time for bed.  We’ll meet again today after my radiation appointment for more visiting and then they drive to Houston.

My sister flew in Saturday night and she’s here until she wants to leave.  I plan to take advantage of her presence, which brings me to the busyness.  I have a lot to do.

I spoke to Arvest Mortgage last week about unloading the house.  He recommended reaching a realtor ASAP and starting the selling process.  I also need talk to the cemetery about plots, the chapel about possible arrangements, etc.  It’s a lot to process, but I need to get this done.

Everyone in my life is being great.  I know it's surreal and no one knows what to do.  I ate a great dinner at FogHorns last week with a dozen friends and family.  I have dinner plans this week with other friends and April is arranging some more.  I don't know what I would do if I wasn't surrounded by so many incredible people.

Life gets busier and busier. I don’t know where to begin.

I’ll start with recent events.  Sunday morning was spent in the Springdale emergency room.  I woke up about 3am (as usual) and had a small snack.  The fun started when I returned to bed.   I was not too sleepy and I decided to watch some Netflix on my tabled, which is easier to do if I lay on my left side.  This was a mistake.  Laying like that caused something in my chest to move and I think my heart literally stopped.  I popped out of bed pretty fast, smacked myself, took some deep breathes, and it started working again.  I sat there for several minutes and then lay down again on my back this time.  I lay there for about 15 minutes, listening to the Netflix, and just as I dozed off my heart began racing at about 220 bpm.   I could breath and my blood oxygen levels were OK, but that sucked.   This is not the first time for this to happen.  Normally I setup up and do some deep breathing, which causes my heart to return to normal.   That did not work Sunday morning.  I tried for about 15 minutes and my heart did not slow down.   I then woke up April and ask her to contact my mom, dad, or sister so someone could drive me to the ER.  EVERYONE arrived and we headed to town.  My heart rate returned to normal when we were about halfway to town, but I said to continue to the ER to get checked.

The ER was empty and they took me directly to the back.  Dr Ball and the staff was great.   I explained my situation and everyone was surprised/impressed by my chest x-ray.  The theory, which I agree with, is that my position restricted my hearts return blood flow.  This caused my heart to panic and beat at 200+ bpm to get the blood it needed.   Whatever it was finally freed up during the drive.  Sadly there’s nothing the ER could actually do about this, but it seemed the right place to go.  We left the ER about 9am and ate breakfast at Flap Jacks.  Other things Dr Ball was my bloow sugar was high, and one of my blood numbers indicated I may have had a blood clot somewhere, which would not be surprising.  Again, what can that really do about it.

This all caused some distress in my family.  My mother kept herself together while she was with me, but I heard she was vocal about things when she was in the waiting room.  April’s handled herself well, but I know this freaks her out.  I can’t describe my thoughts.  It is very freaky to know what's happening and be only a rider on the roller coaster. I compensate by being more controlling in different parts of my life, but that’s only a distraction.  I know my days are limited and I plan to enjoy each one.  Be it a home or work or somewhere with friends and family.  Each ray of sun or drop of rain is worth celebrating.

A smack in the face

Today was my third radiation treatment.  It went well, as far as I can tell, and appears to be helping my breathing.  That’s the good news.  There’s bad news too.

I spoke with both Dr Smith (Radiation) and Dr Travis (Oncology) today.  Each presented a different opinion, but both shared a common thread.  I do not have a good prognosis.  I ask direct questions of each and each gave me direct answers.

Dr Smith said I was VERY lucky to be here now.  He did not expect me to survive last week when my airway collapsed.  My radiation treatment is essentially an Emergency dosage which they do not do under normal circumstances.  The radiation is attacking a fist size location surrounding my esophagus and trachea.  This is to open my airway so I can breathe (which is important) but is also affecting everything else in the area.  This only buys me time.  Dr Smith also said there was nothing else he could do beyond this.  The rest of the tumor will continue to grow and squash everything, which will eventually suffocate me.  He suggested contacting a Hospice and begin making preparations.   His observations of the growth suggest I have 4-6 weeks.

Dr Travis is slightly more optimistic.  He also says I am lucky to still be here and the radiation is an emergency treatment which can probably not be repeated.  However, we have a plan.  In three weeks (Sept 29) I get another CT scan.  This may reveal if the last dosage of ifosomide (the last chemo) did anything for me.  I believe it was and that this breathing episode is related to my fall at Foghorns.  I think the fall caused some type of injury to my trachea, which cascaded what happened last week.  My hope is to continue the Ifosomide treatment after the CT scan.

I plan to Fight On.

Db

A very terrible, horrible, nasty day.

Well, Damon and I are In shock.  The information that we received today was not what we expected, at all.  As you know, for those of you that read this blog, Damon has been feeling much better for the last week or so.  For those of you that have been in direct contact with one of us during the last 10 days to 2 weeks, Damon's physical condition has been improving.  He has been feeling better, such as his breathing has improved, his stamina has been better and he mentioned, on several occasions that he could feel that his right lung was moving more oxygen and that he felt like he could feel that it was beginning to re-inflate, that he could take a deeper breathe.  His coughing was also much improved and even sounded better.    Even better, while at a regular office visit with Dr. Travis, he smiled at me while he was listening to the air flow in Damon's right lung.  He stated that, "He has about 50% more air flow in that right lung when compared to the last time I listened to him."  We thought that we were given phenomenal news at that point.  So what happened to change things so drastically in the last several days to the last 2 weeks??

Hopefully we will have an idea of that aver after we see Dr. Travis on Wednesday.  I know how much Damon means to those of you he has the absolute honor of calling friends.  

We are and feel very blessed to have people, such as those we call friends, in our lives.  Now, as in the past, you all keep asking if there is anything that you can do for us.   I wish  there was.  For right now, all that we ask is for continued and more prayers.

April

Ups and Downs and Ups and Downs

Friends, here’s what’s happening.

I was at work all last week.  It felt good and I believed I was improving every day.  My breathing improved and my energy slowly improved, but I still needed help with my wheel chair.  I thank you all for that.

My brother was in town on Saturday and we had a wonderful afternoon. We went to a movie, played in the local arcade (Arcadia), and we ate lunch and dinner.  It was one of the best days I’ve had in several weeks. Nothing good happens without some cost.  We ate lunch at Foghorns in Fayetteville, which was yummy.  I slipped and fell while there and recovered quickly or so I thought.  I landed on stump and did not hit my chest or head or anything else.  This was at lunch and the rest of the day was great.

I awoke with my chest very congested on Sunday, but I was OK.  Monday morning I could barely breathe at all.  I woke up April and we drove straight to the doctor.  It was that or the emergency room.

Monday I was X-rayed and CT scanned.  They determined that I was in dire straits.  The tumor has consumed my lower trachea which it is about 90% closed.  To add complication there is a growth which is forming a flap near the narrowest opening.  If I cough wrong or lay wrong then this flap closes my airway, which causes a major coughing episode until it clears.  You can imagine how uncomfortable this is.

What happened between Saturday and Monday?  I believe the fall jarred my check cavity and caused some bleeding or inflammation in or near my trachea.  This slowly closed or nearly closed the already small opening, which gradually choked me.

I spent virtually all Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday in doctor offices.  I spoke with Doctor Smith (Oncology Radiation guy), Doctor Counce (thoracic surgeon) and Doctor Travis (Oncologist).  The bad news is this is not operable in its current state and any type of chemo is too slow.  Which leaves radiation so the doctors at Highland put me in the last lane for radiation treatment.

The radiation treatment is a focused attack on the tumor which will hopefully clear my airway first.  Breathing is very important.  Then expand and attach the rest of the tumor which is essentially my entire right chest cavity.  The radiation treatments are Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  My first treatment was yesterday.  Lying in the machine is very comfortable, which is great, but I can actually feel the treatment as it moves across my body.  It’s not painful, but I can feel it.

Today I certainly feel much better.  I am using the oxygen and I am still tired, but it is better.  My breathing has improved each day with a definite improvement this morning.  I cannot say it if it because of a gradual improvement from the weekend event, or if it’s from the radiation treatment.  Whatever it is I will take it.

Moving forward.  The side effects from the radiation are numerous but mostly minor.  They won’t kick in for a few days and I can’t wait to see what happens.  My hope is for continued improvement and then return to the office Monday.
The lesson learned and take nothing for granted.  I have to relearn this lesson each time I feel an improvement.  Add to this that my hair is coming out again.

I appreciate everyone’s support and the messages.